Philosophizing

Today while I was picking berries I couldn't help but ponder about the vicissitudes of life. It usually happens to me when I'm doing yard work of any kind. I applied for a design job recently and I called about it today and they informed me they offered it to someone else. There's not many design jobs in Logan and this one paid over 40K so I was hoping to get it. I should've realized they were probably looking for someone who'd actually graduated college and maybe had some real world experience. But still, I found thoughts like, "I didn't even get called in for an interview... what's wrong with me?... I suck at design...maybe I should've been a math teacher like my dad said." And then, as I usually do, I didn't think about it again until the berry picking. I realized that if life were easy then none of us would have any reason to work for something and get better. When I came back from the world of religion in Ireland I felt the same way as I do today. Suddenly it seemed like everyone was so much better than I was...like the creative design minds of the world all got rocket-packs and exploded forward and I got stuck in their mediocre, well-trodden path. I realized today that during my Ireland era, the economy sank and everyone had to fight for their place in the world. All the designers who had been comfortably loafing around suddenly had to fight for their jobs by being better and becoming indispensable. No wonder the world exploded. That's what happens when we're forced to stretch. When I realized last week that I probably wasn't getting the job, I started digging into any resources I had about better design. Tutorials, images, fonts, everything that was good. So, nothing has changed on the outside, but a little humility softened me up to absorb something useful on the inside. And in the meantime, the blackberries are emerging and some of them, I dare say, might get as big as my fist.